Season 1 Episode 12: Reminisce of a Crafter- Act of Forgiveness #TodayIForgaveMyself
Martha relates how she forgave herself for acquiring too much craft products that she never used.
The year is fast gone and very soon it will be a new year.
To fulfil my new year resolution for the year 2020, I started working on my resolution.
The first on my list is to clean my craft room. Everything should be in place and the craft products that I have no need of( new or used) will be sent to a charity, schools or sold.
Starting with my bookshelves. I have two bookshelves containing books so it won’t take days to arrange.
I arranged the books in columns according to the crafts they represent.
Within an hour, I finished the bookshelves. I saw some books which I hadn’t opened for years. I set those aside for the purpose or re-reading them or sending to charity.
I have really spent a lot of money on crafting/ craft products and this has become a snare unto me. Everywhere is filled with craft products that I felt that I will need.
I walked towards another section in my craft room and as I took a look at my craft room, I tried to arrange some items on the shelf, my eyes caught something and it was some craft dies that I bought.
I pulled out the craft dies and remembered why I got them. I haven’t used them in 2 years now. I was planning a shadow-box with a flower-filled vase Mother’s day greeting card when I bought them. Perhaps I will use them next year.
I slid the craft dies back to its rest place on the shelf and then my eye caught another product, and then another and then another and then another and so on…
As I took a look at these products that I bought with plans on using them but haven’t for years. I wondered at myself how I have spent so much and used so little and yet, I keep buying more.
I placed my hand on the shelf that contains the basket with craft dies and starting sorting since I finished the bookshelves earlier than expected. I put the computer on and decided on a Netflix movie series so that I can dedicate myself to arranging my crafting dies as I watch the movie.
As I sort through the craft dies, I noticed that some were still in packaging. I bought these years ago due to impulse, thinking that I am going to use them. Three years after, they are still intact and not used at all.
A sudden sadness filled me as I took a look at most of the crafting products that I have spent my money on.
I am not in competition with anyone neither do I have a craft business. How did I acquire such a large amount?
I tried to find a positive side to my spending so much.
Some items that I bought are no longer made. Even after buying them, I still do without them.
Four days and I am still sorting through craft dies. Let’s not talk about cardstock, ink-pads, markers, rubberstamps, inks, paints, sewing/ quilting supplies and many more.
Weeks now, I am still sorting through my craft stuff. How much I have spent started dawning on me.
I called a friend who is not a crafter to speak to.
I had to forgive myself.
I became sad. I have to forgive myself. I have to make peace with myself.
I called myself by name and said; Martha!
I forgive you(Martha) for buying things that you didn’t use.
I forgive you(Martha) for spending too much on craft products with the intention to use them but didn’t.
I forgive you(Martha) for not completing craft projects.
I forgive you(Martha) for all the mistakes that you have made.
I took all the blame and then started forgiving myself. It took time but I am no longer suck into all these talks of you need this and that.
I am at my best now.
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